Love & Respect

Usually I'm a serial reader. I start one book, finish it, then start another. However, I've somehow ended up juggling four books at once. I mean... I'm actually actively reading them- not like I quit reading one and started another. I even have a big schedule written out on posterboard, taped onto our refrigerator to let me know when to read each book and when to transition (just kidding).

I was only juggling three books when my pal, Bethany, dropped this book off for me. She was listening to the book on tape and had told me all about it. At first, I groaned. I was already reading three books, yo! But I reluctantly opened the cover and began reading and was instantly hooked.



Love & Respect. People, it's mind blowing. I feel like I have received so much revelation from this book and I'm only into the 4th chapter! Basically the premise is this: People talk about unconditional love in marriage all the time. They quote Ephesians 5:33- Husbands love your wives. But we often forget about the 2nd part- Wives, respect your husbands. This book basically explores these crazy cycles that marriages can easily get on: When the wife feels unloved, she responds disrespectfully- then, when the husband feels disrespected, he withdraws and responds unlovingly. And so on, and so on.

It's funny because I would never say that I'm disrespectful to Adam. But as I read, I realized that there are plenty of times that I've criticized something he's done or questioned a decision that he's made or whined about something. And that often comes across to a man as disrespect- that I don't admire him or that I don't like who he is a person. The book says that most husbands feel loved by their wives- but they often don't feel respected.

Anyways, it's a really insightful book. There's a lot more good stuff in there and a many excellent points. In fact, it addresses the fact that women are already really good (by nature) at loving (agape- unconditional) their families. That's why it's not commanded. However, in 1 Peter, it's commanded for women to love (philia- brotherly, respectful) their families- because although women have unconditional love as motivation- sometime's we don't show favor to the one's we're closest to.

Anywhoos, the book isn't like, 'Submit wives and bow down to your husbands' or anything like that, so if I've made it sound that way, that's my fault. But it's a great book for folks to read, I'll tell ya that.

And as Omar would say:


... if you want to know the rest, read the book!