2.22.2010

Big Ol' Mess

This has been a couple of days of bad emotions bubbling over the cauldron edge of my existence. I have been quick to anger, critical, and brimming with malice. It's like waves of hostility rolling off of me. For example: Why can't I see a beautiful girl and be like, "Hey...she's beautiful!" Instead, I'm critical: I think that she's vain...I think that she's consumed with being skinny...I don't want to like her. I'm insecure, I'm a big ol' load of crazy.

I am thankful to have a husband that I can unload on and who will pray with me. I am thankful to have girlfriends with whom I can have total disclosure. I am thankful for a God who is kind enough to let me see my need for Him, who breaks off my false comforts so that I can be satisfied and healed in just Him. And I'm thankful that today is better.

6 comments:

Lindsey said...

I know what you mean Camille! I find myself doing the same thing sometimes.. It can really bring you down in a hurry. I hope you know how beautiful you are inside and out! I'm praying for you girl! Love ya!

Marylou said...

It's hard friendy. I think that so many of us struggle with bitterness and always wanting something different than what we have or are. I'm glad that God has given you the blessing of blogging and sharing so that the rest of us know we're not alone when we feel the same way :) love you!!

The Tylers said...

I know I have felt the same way quite often about others. Glad to know that I'm not the only one...and I sure plan to make that pb pie which won't help the weight I need to lose. Here's to you having s great week, Camille!

Anonymous said...

It's lack of sunshine. Not to ovesimplify at all either. Lots of people in the area get that way for a short time, including me. You just need some good rays....

Cynthia said...

You're definitely not alone, friend. I'm coming out of my own battle with similar struggles. It's interesting, too, because I think sometimes we look at one another and assume that they never struggle with insecurity and negative self-talk when in reality we all do. It's so easy for us to pick out those things about ourselves we dislike instead of focusing on the good. Thanks for sharing this and encouraging me that I'm not alone.

lindsey said...

Been there. Way too often. Thank you for being so open and honest. I struggle sometimes with comparing myself to other women, all the while thinking that they have it all together, and I do not. It's tough. Will pray for a time of refreshing for you! Better days ahead, friend!