Going to the Y makes for really good people watching. You see some interesting characters at the gym. To name a few:
1. "Sexual grunting guy". No matter which state or gym we've been in, there's always one. Thats right- illicit grunting man. He doesn't seem to notice that everyone is cutting eyes at each other and having to focus hard on their shoes so as not to burst out laughing. Or vomit.
2. "I don't pick up on signals that people want to be left alone" guy. If given an inch, this guy will talk to you for the better part of an hour- about carbs, the eliptical, his plans to be on "The Amazing Race". Even your "subtle" glances at your watch and "Welp...."s don't phase him. IPOD ear buds may do the trick if never taken out as said guy approaches.
3. Stinky guy. This guy may not have ever worn deodorant. And I think he rolled around in eggs before he came to work out. Oh, and also he doesn't wipe down his machines. Ewwwwww
4. Super laid back weight machine lady. C'mon lady, you've been sitting on the stupid hamstring machine for 6 minutes! How long are you going to rest between sets??? Wait..have you... have you fallen asleep??
5. Loud, obnoxious preteens. 12 year olds wearing tiny shorts "casually" walking by 14 year old boys over and over while talking loudly about who knows what? I don't- because I literally cannot understand them. Did I ever talk like that?! Don't answer that, mom.
6. Super Type A Business Woman. You'll find her on the eliptical. This woman is kinda like Michelle Pfeifer (spelling?) in the movie, "I Am Sam." She is perfectly outfitted in the newest Nike Lyrca, couldn't weigh over 105 lbs., has the machine's intensity cranked up to the max, and is working/reviewing a file/barking orders on her cell phone with no regard for other gymbees.
7. " I've never seen this guy workout" guy- Does he just hang out at the Y til it closes and then sneak upstairs and crash on a mat from the nursery? This guy is always sitting on a bench, knows everyone in the Y, but has yet to ever step onto a machine. It IS fun to stay at the YMCA, sir... you proved that song right.
8. ARGHHHHHH- Angry weightlifter guy. Enough said.
9. Starey-starerson. Yep, he stares at himself more than Narcissus. And he makes a face when he stares at himself. Kind of a James Dean lip curl/smirky "how you doin" look. And he says things to his workout buddy like, "I'm going to take it down to 45's and just do, like, CRAZY control bro." But "Bro" sounds like "Bra"- you know the guy.
It makes the gym interesting, eh?
Know any others? Who is your favorite gym character?