"Consume my life, my God, for it is Thine. I seek not a long life, but a full one, like you, Lord Jesus"
I think one of the struggles Adam and I have had in this season is living life to the fullest. We're in a new place with new circumstances. Pre-Erie, Adam and I had the same schedule and were equally involved in lifegroup and relationships- we were tired but fulfilled. Now, medical school is a huge consumer of time. It says a lot of Adam that I haven't felt neglected or like medical school is stealing my husband- he's very disciplined and wakes up at the buttcrack of dawn to get studying in so we can have time together. However, our levels of commitment are going to look different at chuch and in relationships because of the demands of medical school. And that's okay. I'm thankful to have women to walk with who are going through these circumstances, also.
Adam and I have been talking lately, though, about wasting our lives. Its easy, so stinkin' easy, to get in the habit of existing up here. Routine, daily robot routine. To just look at this season away from family, dear friends, and everything familiar as something to get through and then we'll go back, life will be better. To say, Oh Lord, THEN when we get out of medical school, we'll do this or that... I'm feeling so convicted and convinced that there's purpose for us and we have to seek God for vision for each day. There are riches for us in this season and new places for us to grow. The Lord's called us to community and he's going to make a way for Adam to do medical school and have rich friendships and reach out to hurting people, even if it looks different that what we're used to.
Practically, this means shifting some things around, making some changes in our "norms" and re-prioritize, but it's well worth it. We have to embrace where we are and live la vida loca... or something like that.
I think its a universal truth, though. No matter what season we're in, there's always this part of us itching hopefully, expectantly for the next season. And I think its fine to be expectant and hopeful so long as we don't miss it. So long as we don't miss where we are, who's around us, what God's speaking now...
For a thousand years in your sight are but as yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night. You sweep them away as with a flood; they are like a dream, like grass that is renewed in the morning: in the morning it flourishes and is renewed; in the evening it fades and withers.
My days are like an evening shadow; I wither away like grass.
Man is like a breath; his days are like a passing shadow.
All flesh is grass, and all its beauty is like the flower of the field. The grass withers, the flower fades when the breath of the LORD blows on it; surely the people are grass.