So, once my weave was taken out and I had grown my hair out a few inches, I decided that I should get a "body wave." Ah, 2001- the year of the body wave. Basically, a body wave is like a perm but not so spiral-y. It's perm-lite. For folks that want to look like you have effortless, wavy hair without actually being born with any curl in your hair.
Anywhoos, so I secretly went to this place and got a body wave by the only free stylist (maybe that should've been my first clue? The non-booked stylist?) At this point in life, my hair had been highlighted, low lighted, and colored within an inch of it's life. So, the body wave probably wasn't the best idea.
This was confirmed when he took out all the curlers and said, "Oh wow."
Not like, "Oh wow! Yippee." Like, "Yikes...oh whoops."
My hair was fried, folks. Fried like a #2 from KFC. I slept with conditioner in it every night and wore it in a ponytail during the day. I used my roommate's hair dryer to try and straighten out my long bangs but they just stuck out STRAIGHT to the side like a reverse Alfalfa hairdo.
Worst of all? Me, being so smooth, decided to just fib. I was embarrassed that I'd gotten a body wave so, when people asked, I just told them my hair must be getting curlier (scratch that, frizzier and wiry-like) in my old age. Eight months later, I had grown out the monstrous fried atrocity and chopped it off into a cute bob of brown, straight locks. And that's the way we like it.