5.12.2009

Giblets

Happy 3 week birthday Henry James!

Hey, Remember that time you were born? That was awesome.

Henry James, although pure sunshine and joy, is keeping his mama awake at night. He CAN sleep...I see it...it's happened before...but just not much the past few nights. In desperation, I have pulled him into bed beside at 4 a.m. so I could pat his bottom and then pass out for a second. YES, I know it's bad to sleep with your baby in bed...but I keep him away from Adam and curl him up beside me... I've been trying to feed him at night and then put him right back down but, so far, he is not too happy with that. Well, sometimes he is okay with it and sometimes he cries and sometimes he falls asleep for 15 minutes and then wakes himself up pushing out a #2 (why do babies strain so hard to push out #2? It is very soft when you are a breastfed baby...) So, any tips on how you got your baby to sleep better at night, I would love to hear. Yes, I have read Babywise. Yes, I am trying to get him on a routine. Yes, sometimes you literally cannot keep him awake after a feeding during the day.

Regardless, I love our little nuggy with his affinity for partying at night and i mean that in more ways than one. not that you can measure love by success. or not that love can even be measured using the metric system. its just all a matter of heart. What? I am losing cognitive abilities. Good-bye.

14 comments:

Jeff and Lauren said...

Camille - My heart goes out to you! Will is a great sleeper now but I can easily remember the nights when he had so much trouble and I was exhausted and feeling like I just wasn't doing things right. I searched the internet far and wide for ideas and everyone seemed to have something different to say. I am sure you are doing a GREAT job despite how it feels. And, I will admit that Will and I have cuddle sessions in our bed most mornings now because he sleeps in if he joins me. My reasons are more selfish than yours...you are fighting for sanity and I am just hogging an extra hour of sleep. :)

As for advice, the only thing I can suggest is maybe trying Henry in a different room and if he is fed, dry, clean, you might try letting him cry for a bit to put himself to sleep. (Maybe you are already doing this or have tried it.) Will slept in his bed from day two because I couldn't sleep at all when he made all of his little peeps and grunts. And now I can definitely hear his cries when he really needs me but I don't lay awake listening to all of the other noises he makes. Also, at one point, I remember we had to just let him cry for a bit. This was after the nights and nights where Jeff was up rocking with him for 2 hours at a time. Babywise says that it is okay for babies to cry for 20-45 minutes but that seemed like a LOT to me. We put Will down and I always looked at the timer. At first I said I would let him cry for only 10 minutes TOPS and I found that 9 times out of 10, he was asleep in less than 5 minutes. And that is when I started to be able to tell the difference between his cries - the hungry one, the tired one, the "I need you!" one. Listening to him cry was really tough though (even when it was only for 2 minutes) so I often had to go downstairs.

Okay, this is getting long. I know from my internet searches that many people disagree with the "letting them cry for a bit" method, but for us it really worked and now Will rarely cries when I put him down at night. And I have learned that every mom is TOTALLY different and all babies are TOTALLY different so please don't take this as pushy advice. This is just what we tried and it worked for our family...it may be totally wrong for you guys or you may have already tried these things and found that they don't work for you. Either way, I am praying for you because I know that it is tough not to be getting much rest but still wanting to give 100% to your little guy. Again, I am sure you are a great mom and Henry is blessed to have someone who cares so much.

One more thing...the pooping issue is a strange one! Will had big issues with it while he was nursing and would thrash around trying to get even a little toot out! He is getting better at it now! It is strange that they have to exert so much effort for such runny poopies!

Elizabeth said...

I don't know you, but I came across your blog one day , right before you had baby Henry. I love all his adorable onesies and Baby Legs! Anyway, I have been reading your updates since then and thought I would add my two cents as a Mom of 3(one who had colic and didn't sleep through the night until 18 months, definately btdt.) I would recommend the "No Cry Sleep Solution". It's a great book that can really help you understand your babys sleep/wake cycles.

http://www.amazon.com/No-Cry-Sleep-Solution-Gentle-Through/dp/0071381392/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1242159958&sr=8-1

When a baby is a newborn they are just getting used to the world around them. I am not totally against letting a baby "cry it out", but I do think that should be reserved for much older babies. In nursing school we learned Erickson's Psychosocial development theory. From birth to one year they are in the "Trust vs mistrust" stage. They need to establish trust in the people caring for them. This includes meeting the needs for food, clothing, touch, and comfort. I really feel that letting a newborn cry without attempting to hold, swaddle, comfort them is not good for their development.

Also, if you are not already doing this, try swaddling him up at night for sleep. Be sure to let him keep his arms flexed up close to his face (that is how babies hold their arms in utero.) They have really cool swaddling blankets you can buy now, or you can just do it the way the nursery nurses did it at the hospital. I wouldn't do it for naptime during the day though, just at night.

Also, don't feel bad about keeping him near you/in bed with you. I always had my babies sleep in the bassinet right next to my bed. They just slept better that way. He's been with you his whole life, it makes since he would sleep better neat you. Here is info from Notre Dame about co-sleeping and safety.
http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/faq.html
You gotta do whatever works for you as a mama.

Lora said...

Does Henry need Momma Lulu's special touch? Everytime I got up with him, I held him his stomach next to me and did swaddle him tight, then no sounds, just gentle slow rocking and once a jiggle (you know our famous leg bouncing). I PROMISE HE IS GOING TO GROW OUT OF THIS! Remember he is only 3 weeks old. HMMM-does his bath wake him up or put him out? If it wakes him up try doing it during the day when you are trying to keep him awake.

The Tylers said...

Not gonna make this comment too long, but remember that these first are TRIAL AND ERROR. You are learning all about sweet Henry and vice-versa. Jake would not stay awake after some(if not all of his day feedings) at first. When he gets a little older, he wil get better at staying awake. I had a hard time at letting either of my babies cry at first, because I was afraid they were still hungry. You just have to trust your judgement and remember that they won't remember all the crying when they get older. Thsis may not have helped...just know it WILL get better:). PROMISE!

The Tylers said...

I don't want to make it sound like I let them cry all the time. Anti-Babywise people think that this is what babywise is all about:(. It's NOT! But there were several occasions when I knew my babies were fine and I did let them cry. I probably cried harder than they did!!!

Olson Family said...

I did babywise with Jack but he didn't start stretching out his night time sleep until he starting sleeping on his tummy. We didn't let him do that until he little head was strong enough to move back and forth effortlessly.
With Jacob, I'm already letting him cry it out a bit and you'd be surprise how tired they get just fussing for a bit....after he fusses for a few minutes I go insert the paci and usually he goes right down...not all the time though:) It wouldn't be true mommyhood if we weren't sleep deprived I suppose!

SMB said...

Hi Camille, I found your blog through Elaine and I think I met you a few times at good ole BU, but in any case, I enjoy reading about your little family and your new baby boy, Henry J, he is adorable. Good luck with everything and Congrats!

- Sara

Bethany said...

I'm proud of you Camille!

ALittleArtsy said...

so so sweet...dont worry I pull little Aiden into bed with me and he sleeps harder and longer!!!! I feel your pain...we are still waking up every 2 hours! Crazy! I hear that you turn a corner around 3 months! I love reading your blog and am glad to have a new friend with a little one!!!

Ann Miller said...

i am a firm believer is doing what you have to do...you are a better mama when you are able to get a little shut eye!! try skin to skin...laying mine on their belly on my belly seemed to soothe; it's so hard some days...totally from the hip...after a few months, read the book, "I Was Such a Good Mom before I had Kids." lots of pressure we put on ourselves...by the way--you will do something to put henry in therapy, but probably not this early!

C and G said...

Our little caris is doing the same thing with both the sleep and the pooping! And I do the same little trick ad you...hold her in bed with me fir a bit at night, I think it is safe :) it seems to keep her content when her tummy hurts and she is next to me and so she keeps sleeping. Now she's learning to comfort herself when that happens so shell sleep in the bassinett. Good luck!!

Anonymous said...

These first 8 weeks are the hardest!

And my favorite sleep book is Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. AMAZING!

All that to say, you have to listen to yourself, no one else, and do what is best for your family.

The Allen Family said...

Camille, Oh I remember those days!!! I sometimes forgot to brush my teeth or even open the blinds!!! I felt like I was living in a box and all I did was nurse 24/7. I promise it will get better!! I always tried to sleep when she slept..so that means instead of trying to get laundry done while he is napping, let it go and sleep!!! You need it! These first few weeks you just have to figure out what works. A few things I tried:
-raising her basinette at an incline so she was not flat...this led to her sleeping in her bouncer every night, which worked great because she loved vibrations
-sleeping in her carseat....once again, she loved an incline and I remember the first time she slept 5 hours it was in her carseat because we were in a hotel and we forgot her bouncer (this is also good when they have a stuffy nose)
-swaddling her even though she acted like she hated it and wanted out....it was the only way to get her to sleep (she was actually swaddled until 4 months!! We had a hard time getting out of that habit!
-around 3 months I stopped changing her diaper at night unless I knew she had pooped. She started waking up probably every 3-4 hours, nursing, then going back to sleep immediately. When I would change her diaper it would wake her up and she wouldn't go back to sleep.
-around 3 months I gave her a bottle with a little formula with my milk to see if it kept her full longer...didn't work for Addy, although lots of people told me she wasn't sleeping because my milk wasn't rich enough! They were wrong...she just didn't sleep!
To be honest, she had a few nights in there where she would sleep, but she didn't consistently start sleeping until last month at 7 months!! Lately I have started putting her in bed when she wakes up sometime between 5:30 - 7 and on the weekends she sometimes will sleep until 9.
You just do what feels right to you. We let Addy cry it out some at 5 1/2 months and it was the hardest thing I have ever done. We still let her cry in the middle of the night if she wakes up and she usually goes right back to sleep after a few minutes. When we let her cry we used the Ferber method...wait 5 minutes, then go check, then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes, etc. It didn't work at first, but then we tried it again about a month later and it worked! I will probably try to let our next one cry a little more. I was paranoid mom and didn't want her to cry at all. I think I will try some babywise! I will be praying that you get some sleep! Life will get back to normal and once you get a little sleep you will feel much better!!

jenny said...

Camille,

The first few weeks are SO hard. I will be praying for your adjustment and for some much needed sleep. I have some thoughts and ideas, but don't want to overwhelm you with information overload since you have gotten a lot of comments already. If you want to e-mail me sometime, feel free or you can get my cell from Bethany if you even want to. I would be more than happy to offer some tips. But, just keep perservering. Around 8-12 weeks, I promise things will start to come together. Keep up the hard work and enjoy sweet Henry!

Jenny C.