Faux Healthy

Ever since the great Tofurkey debacle, I've continued eating it and reminding Adam of how healthy I am because I eat tofurkey. So, this week at the grocery store, I bought a pack of tofurkey wieners for myself. (I am such a role model) Adam, meanwhile, bought a pack of regular hot dog sausage wieners stuffed with cheese. I smirked and thought about how superior & disciplined I was and how wonderfully healthy tofurkey is.

Well, I got home and, to prove the point, flipped over the packages of our respective wieners. Guess what? Tofurkey is horrible for you! My tofurkey had more calories, fat, and sodium per wiener than Adam's cheese-filled sausages! Unbelievable! Obviously, Adam loved the irony and burst out in joyful laughter. The point? Sometimes "health food" ain't so healthy and the real thing might be well worth it!


There has been a question about these tofurkey allegations. Let us calculate:

Tofurkey Wieners : 270 calories 13 g of fat sodium 620 mg
Cheese Wieners: 160 calories 11g of fat sodium 590 mg

Oh, wait.. wait a second. The tofurkey is 100 g per wiener and Smith's is only 68 g per wiener. Hang on, folks. I need to do some math.
....cross multiply..... carry the 1......

Okay, drum roll please....
We had to break it down to actual grams and did a few calculations. So PER GRAM (that's how I always measure food, anyway.. right?)
Tofurkey fat= .13 per gram ** Cheese sausage fat= .16 per gram

Tofurkey calories= 2.7 per gram ** Cheese sausage calories= 2.35 per gram

Tofurkey sodium= .0062 per gram ** Cheese sausage sodium= .008 per gram

Picture me doing a victory dance around the living room while the Rocky theme plays in the background.

But then, mid-song, I realize that I just spent 25 minutes doing calculations on tofurkey and cheese wiener nutrition.
single tear...

Then I recover and dance around anyways. Go tofurkey... it's your birthday.


Anonymous said...

Ewwww. Tofurkey?????

Lora said...


Anonymous said...

This does not sound right. Can you please provide details? Here is what Tofurky website says:

Anonymous said...

but don't your results show that tofurkey has more fat and more calories per gram than the regular sausage? so doesn't that mean that regular sausage wins 2 out of 3 times? or am i misreading something?

Lora said...

I think Megan is right. Camille, reread your blog. YES YES INDEED-JUNK FOOD WINS AGAIN!!!!

the Jennings secede from the South said...

Okay, I typed it wrong you math superstars. The fat figures were backwards.

Ann Miller said...

Okay, stop the madness. Camille, honestly, it may be time to give up the tofurkey. i mean, it's called "tofurkey"!! i don't think that's a word. as healthy as you are, there must be other corners you can cut, extra minutes spent somewhere, doing something...just break down and eat a real, "all-natural" hot dog!! are tofurkey franks really that tasty???

Obsessive Foodie or Food Addict....You Decide said...

I am concerned a future doc is snacking on Smith's Cheddarbest Sausage Weiners.........I hope he is not doing a specialty in cardiology.

give it up w/the tofurkey already.......although I like saying "tofurkey" I would never be caught dead eating one.

Matthew Stone said...

Buahahahaha...that may be the best blog post I have ever read ever. Ever.

I will stick with the cheese filled real stuff.

Deb said...

I bought something like this at the Old Wheat Barn one time. I ate about three and threw the rest out..barf!...BUT can I recommend tofu crumbles....it can be used in chile and is "just like" hamburger. Bet there are no nitrites in tofurkey tho.

Unknown said...

Try Yves brand. Wegman's sells it. I think their products are tastier than Tofurkey products, and I've tried a considerable amount of soy meat alternatives.

If you're going to eat a meat-based hot dog, opt for an organic or locally produced brand free of sodium nitrate, synthetic casing, fillers, and/or MSG.

Any way you look at it, it all comes down to this - do you want to ingest a veggie-based protein or an animal-based protein?

Anonymous said...

regardless of the calorie count, at least you know that your tofurkey sausage was not made from tortured and sickly animals.
you're making the better choice.