Green Bone Follies & The Centipede

I awoke this morning to.. guess what.. snow! Weird, huh? I never thought of "April" and "snow" in the same sentence. In fact, before I move here, the saying about "April Showers bring May Flowers" was kind of strange- we didn't get a whole lot of April rain back down south. However, this morning's no-stick snow made me super appreciative of this wonderful, sunny afternoon that we're enjoying now, thank you Lord.

I'm still reading my book, "Don't Waste Your Life" by John Piper. It's a difficult book to read at times because #1. every sentence is chock-full of truth and deep insight. There's no fluff here, people. So you read a sentence and then read it again and then think and then read it again and ponder some more. #2. It's a very convicting read. Now, it's a good-convicting not condemning, ya know? But there's still truths that you have to deal with- you can't walk away from these scriptures & revelation and do nothing, you know? Yet it's also full of promises & hope about a life centered on Jesus. They're all hand-in-hand. So, excellent read but not always an easy read.

Adam R. Jennings & I just took Powers the dog out for a run. Oh, speaking of- any dog people out there? One time in my "Boxers for Dummies" book, I read about this game that Boxers (and other dogs) really like. Here's how it goes: Basically, I take Power's favorite toy (green bone) and walk over to Adam's office with Powers following behind. Powers walks into the office and I stand in the doorway and say "Green Bone, Green Bone". Then I shut the door, leaving behind Powers in the office. Then I go and hide green bone somewhere in the house. After I've hidden green bone, I open the office door and say "Where's green bone?!" (in a very excited, baby-talk voice, of course) and then Powers takes off looking for Green Bone. Usually this part takes a while as Powers is not the sharpest tool in the shed. But he'll sniff and walk around and stand on his hind legs to see the high places. When he finally finds green bone, we have a celebration and he wags his nub. Green bone can also be replaced with Adam or myself- we've done this a few times and it's a lot more fun.

So, in case you needed a game to play with your dog while it snows outside on an April morning.
I leave you with a joke. Okay:

A man goes into a pet shop and tells the owner that he wants to buy a pet that can do everything.

The shop owner suggests a faithful dog.

The man replies, "Come on, a dog?"

The owner says, "How about a cat?"

The man replies, "No way! A cat certainly can't do everything. I want a pet that can do everything!"

The shop owner thinks for a minute, then says, "I've got it! A centipede!"

The man says, "A centipede? I can't imagine a centipede doing everything, but okay... I'll try a centipede." He gets the centipede home and says to the centipede, "Clean the kitchen."

Thirty minutes later, he walks into the kitchen and... it's immaculate! All the dishes and silverware have been washed, dried, and put away the counter-tops cleaned the appliances sparkling the floor waxed. He's absolutely amazed.

He says to the centipede, "Go clean the living room."

Twenty minutes later, he walks into the living room. The carpet has been vacuumed the furniture cleaned and dusted the pillows on the sofa plumped, plants watered.

The man thinks to himself, "This is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. This really is a pet that can do everything!"

Next he says to the centipede, "Run down to the corner and get me a newspaper."

The centipede walks out the door. 10 minutes later... no centipede.

20 minutes later... no centipede. 30 minutes later... no centipede.

By this point the man is wondering what's going on. The centipede should have been back in a couple of minutes. 45 minutes later... still no centipede!

He can't imagine what could have happened. Did the centipede run away? Did it get run over by a car? Where is that centipede?

So he goes to the front door, opens it... and there's the centipede sitting right outside.

The man says, "Hey!!! I sent you down to the corner store 45 minutes ago to get me a newspaper. What's the matter?!"

The centipede says, "I'm goin'! I'm goin'! I'm just puttin' on my shoes!"


Lora said...


Obsessive Foodie or Food Addict....You Decide said...


Ann Miller said...

that is one of my favorite jokes!

Obsessive Foodie or Food Addict....You Decide said...

Also, that wagging the nub thing kind of freaks me out. Call it a bunny tail or something....nub sounds too icky.

Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where George had a small tail (ewwwwe)

B-HO said...

Loved the joke!! ALSO I am a huge Piper freak....I devoured that book the second I first got it and now I give it out as a gift every chance I get!!!

Danielle said...

oh man...that was the cheesiest joke ever!