4.16.2008

Not Just An Ordinary Garden Gnome


Camille: Hey Rumplestiltskin. Are you excited about spring?

Rumple: Yeah, you know it.

C: Give it to me straight, Rumple. Did Powers ever... you know... mark you?

Rumple: ...

Powers: ...



C: Oh, Gnome he didn't!
Get it? Get it, Rumple??

Rumple: I've heard that one before.

C: Whatever, Rumple. Listen, how did you end up here? Guarding our ivy? Greeting our guests?

Rumple: Well, there's only so many things for tiny, bearded men to do. The Keebler elves were snobs! You can't make ANY mistakes- if you confuse baking soda with baking powder even once.. forget about it. Then I tried to join up with the shoe-making elves but they were all hopped up on pixie sticks so that they could work all night. I got peer-pressured into trying them and developed an addiction. A few months later, I hit rock bottom when I sold my lumberjack's axe for a pack of fun dip. I got into rehab, got clean, and I decided a life of solitude in the ivy was for me.

C: There ya have it. Wow. Thanks, Rumple. For this thought-provoking look into your life. You just say, "No." okay?

I have issues. Who knew? Hey, guess what?? Spring is here!!!! Look- from our front yard.



Am I becoming a crazy old lady who talks to gnomes and takes pictures from her yard? Next thing you know, I'll be bird watching and recording the species that I see in my bird journal. No offense, bird watchers. Birds are great, but I'm 24. But the spring does remind me of this: God can bring life out of dark, dead places. I see it all around me and in my own life, the Lord has brought joy & peace where there was fear & darkness. Yes, thank you Jesus!

And thank you for these two yahoos.

8 comments:

B-HO said...

Oh Cam--What I wouldn't give to be inside your brain if only for a day --YOU ARE SO FUNNY!!I wanna see your face---even if I have to... start a fund....the "BRING CAM HOME FOR A VISIT" fund...I am sure I would have lots of folks willing to pitch in for this noteworthy cause...

Lora said...

Your yellow flowers are daffodils. What's wrong with bird watching? Your story is really cute for an inbred Southerner! The last picture is a classic-such cute boys!

Adrian said...

I had to call Caleb in the room and read the gnome conversation to him. Of course, he loved it and it sounded exactly like something he would write. You are funny!!!

Ray D. said...

Your gnome is being way too kind to the Keebler elves. I had a BIL who consulted for them once. He said they were the most profane elves he had ever met. They probably got kicked out of the North Pole.

Did you buy your gnome or did he come with the garden? Does he have a green card?

Matthew Stone said...

That post made me smile.

This comment makes me feel awkward.

the Jennings secede from the South said...

Whoa, whoa with the accusations. Of course, Rumple has his green card. I'm not harboring any illegal gnomes!

Deb said...

Gnomes are great cuz they can keep a secret so blather away...dogs tend to accidentally let stuff slip out.

Our Lord is great about taking things that look dead and bringing them to life. Thanks, I needed the encouragement!

Hannah Lee said...

Okay, so I am in the computer lab on campus reading this...laughing out loud, loudly. People are looking at me! Hilarious!