Conversation With Self

Inner Monologue: Yoohoo, Camille.
Me: Yes, inner monologue?
IM: Don't you think you've had enough fun packs of Skittles?
Me: Wha..?! I have shown such restraint, and the stupid halloween candy basket is only sitting there begging to be eaten for Pete's sake! And I haven't eaten as much candy as Adam, so there!
IM: Right, but Adam's a boy with a metabolism six thousand times higher than yours.
Me: Listen, inner monologue, I don't know if you've noticed, but I've been eating less at meals to compensate for the candy, okay? So, I'm just skipping out on nutrients, not doubling my calories you jerk. Plus, fun size packs don't count!
IM: Right...Yeah, but aren't your jeans feeling just a little tight? Like maybe you should do some squats or lunges before you walk out into public?
Me: As a matter of fact, Inner Monologue, these jeans fit just hunky dory. And even if they were tight, which I'm not saying they are, but IF they were, well its probably because of hormonal shifts. Now, if you don't mind I have some...
IM: Wait, just one more thing..
Me: Fine. Go ahead.
IM: Weren't you going to go for a run today? And clean the house?

Oh, bother. Must now go donate halloween candy to neighbors with small children. Stupid inner monologue.


Brooke & Freeland said...

Hillarious! I love it .. and have had the same convo with myself

Lora said...

We've all had the conversation, some of us are really good at ignoring the IM though.