11.12.2007

Rant.

Disclaimer: This post is rated "P" for Potty-talk. It may contain some material offensive to cottonheaded ninnymuggins. If you don't want to hear it, walk away....or type "google" or "anthropologie" into your browser thingy.

Okay, so the 1st floor bathroom where I work is the most disturbingly quiet room you have ever encountered in your life. Bathroom should have SOMETHING, okay. Background music, a fan quietly turning, a vent at least, right? Alas, no. Our 3-stall bathroom is horrifyingly silent. When its my time to shine, I pray that no one is in there. Because you can't relax, you know? And if you can't relax, you can't releeeaaaase. And its not like you can just flush and let THAT noise fill up the room b/c the flush is one of those stupid, supersonic flushes that only last 2.4 seconds. Boo.

Bathroom issue #2:
The floors are so shiny that you can see the person next to you's reflection.. and I mean, really well. Like, if you were next to me and I accidentally looked down on the ground, I could say what color pantaloones (spelling?) you were wearing. So, you spend your time trying to relax, focusing super hard on not looking at the floor, and also keeping your reflection as modest as possible. This is not conducive to the aforementioned "release".

Needless to say, the bathrooms are difficult to go #1 in, let alone drop the kids off. Incidentally, I walk upstairs to the 2nd floor bathroom at least three times a day so I don't have to camp out on the toilet and wait for the stalls to empty along with the stinking girl taking her sweet time at the sink. And then, you're all paranoid, like "wait, is someone coming in?" Muscles contract! And so, in summary, thank you, higher ups, for the exercise.

Good day.

7 comments:

freakface said...

Um, could you please edit that post and insert a STRONGER warning? Eww!

Lora said...

TMI!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

You are funny, Camille. I never really know WHAT to expect with you!
Adrian

Brooke & Freeland said...

Out of control... I love it. Preach the truth camille.. preach it. We all need to know these kinda things!! And we need to know when it happens to us - were not alone! Because .. lets be honest.. it does happen to all of us!

Cece said...

I totally get this...I find myself when the need arises, walking to the other end of the church to one of the other bathrooms instead of going right across the hall for fear of any of the other lovely ladies invading my very personal bathroom time.

Cece said...

P.S. Today the seventh and final season of Gilmore Girls came out on DVD. Let's all take a moment of silence.

Anonymous said...

You stopped by Erie Blog Watch so I thought I would return the favor Camille.
Here is my post there:

Anonymous said...
Oxymoron all you want, O Jennings Seceder. All of Erie already knows that Camille Jennings is an Oxy-doll.

I hope the release problem is getting better for Camille too.
Otherwise, the drug companies will run ads for Oxy-control tablets for swift boating in the stalls.

Camille Jennings has performed a HUGE public service for Erie too.
She revealed that the ladies room stall floors are so shiny that you can see the color of the underwear on the lady releasing next door.
(Camille, point of order: "No more crap about 'dropping the kids off', puleeze")

But the public service? Who among us has not had their mother warn them to always wear clean underwear as you never know when you might have an accident. A cute nurse or doctor (perhaps even the scalpel skill-sharpened Adam???) may then see your Oxydol-free underwear spots---in color at Camille's!!!
Listen to your mother....and, Camille. You never know who is lurking in that stall. And, with their cell phone uploading your "color choices" and more online. Yikes.

I think this is safely filed under "Outing".

November 17, 2007 6:35 PM


Anonymous said...
I have emailed Bill Gates at Microsoft regarding blog etiquette at The Jennings Secede From The South as Camille describes her sincere efforts in the bathroom stall as she tried "dropping the kids".

Bill was aghast.
Now I know the email policy at Erie Blog Watch and the Hitler-ish inflexibility at exceptions, but the word comes from the top here and I'm sure this is exception worthy.

Bill Gates says the proper expression in this particular instance for ALL blogs is
"Delete Cookies".

This has been a public service at no charge brought to you by Erie Blog Watch watcher.

November 17, 2007 6:48 PM